


The Golden Boy / part 2 of 2

by freaksout



Series: A game of chess [6]
Category: Iron Man (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bullying, Caning, Canonical Character Death, Coercion, Explicit Sexual Content, Fireworks, Graphic Description, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kid Tony, Kid Tony Stark, M/M, Mental Coercion, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Blow Jobs, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Consensual Spanking, Racism, Racist Language, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Coercion, Spanking, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Under-Desk Blow Jobs, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freaksout/pseuds/freaksout
Summary: When Tony went to MIT at 12 y.o., he thought to have found a balance in his life: he was working hard, he was the TOP of his class despite his age, and he has found a friend and roommate in James "Rhodey" Rhodes. He thought not to need the "special therapy" his uncle Obadiah was forcing him into since he was 6... but his uncle had very different ideas, and young Tony's monsters were about to swallow him in the dark.
Relationships: Edwin Jarvis & Tony Stark, Howard Stark & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Obadiah Stane/Tony Stark
Series: A game of chess [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029513
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	1. The monster you live with

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of flashback of the MIT events: from Rhodey's perspective, now we move to Tony's one.  
> This first chapter connects also some of the dots and hints disseminated through the previous stories, especially why Tony Stark is so scared of fireworks.  
> As always, sorry for language mistakes!
> 
> WARNING: there is an explicit under-age sexual violence. If you are particularly sensible, stop reading when the fireworks started, and jump to the next session marked with -----.

After the first impact, the college was a wonderful and educational experience for Tony from different points of views. This couldn’t have been possible if he hadn’t find a friend in James Rhodes, who he called Rhodey.

Tony had never had a brother, and neither he had wanted one, and his only friend had been his father’s butler Jarvis, who for him was more like the father he had always wanted to have. He even called him “papa” when he was little!

To his surprise, he discovered that it was not normal not having friends your age while growing up.

He also discovered that he wanted a friend like Rhodey, and since the tall guy reciprocate the feeling for him, they started to get along. Rhodey also called him “little T” and Tony liked that nickname: surely he was a bit upset for being short but he believed that in a couple of years he would have been as tall as his father or even taller.

Still, the first weeks were problematic, especially at nights. Being his father’s son meant that he has been provided with a single room with a small private bathroom. It was fine, since Tony was used to spend most of the time on his own to study, sketching and creating. But nights were a huge problem because when he woke up with his nightmares, there was no Jarvis there to calm him down, and he couldn’t go in the kitchen for a glass of milk. And the vast majority of the time he didn’t know where he was, so he had taken the habit to put a note on the night table. But the most serious problem was caused by the older students, who loved to play pranks on freshmen! A bunch of guys had shown a particular interest in tormenting him, days and nights. In the first week they had already thrown him or his books in the fountain, the garbage tank, the motor oil tank, and other smelly places.

Last but not least, they’ve tried more than once to enter in his room at nights. The first time they succeeded: it was one of his first nights there, and Tony was strangely sleeping and he didn’t hear them breaking in. He obviously panicked badly when he felt big hands reaping him off his coverts and dresses while everyone howled like dogs. He had screamed so hard with his acute child voice, that some senior guys of the nearby rooms has gone out in alarm and has made the bullies run away.

There was a formal inquiry on the episode, with the only results that now everyone was making fun of him all over the campus, by howling like angry dogs when he passed by. Tony turned red for the shame but he didn’t know what to do to make them stop!

The only thing he did was to stat blocking the door with the chair, but still he didn’t feel safe. And every time he heard them trying again or just scratching at his door to prove his nerves, he curled in a corner of the room in fear. He had tried everything to calm himself down, like mumbling the song his mother used to sing to him, but in those moments he seemed he was just unable to breath.

The lack of sleep had soon impacted his performances during class, by starting with the fact that he couldn’t manage to stay awake when the professor was particularly boring or he already knew the topic he was explaining. The only time he managed to pay attention was during professor Pym’s class, but he has also noted that the young Stark was not fine, and not just for the black circles under his eyes! Last time he had asked the class for a simple physic riddle, Tony had needed more than 20 minutes before remembering the Bernoulli equation. He was still the first one to come up with a solution, but Pym has noticed that there was something wrong. He had asked him after class if he was having any troubles, but Tony had said he was fine.

From the many “social tips” he was quickly acquiring once he had exited his golden bell jar, the first one was that nobody beard whiny guys! That was also a thing Obadiah had told him during their therapy sessions, so it must have been true….

That was why he told professor Pym, the director and everyone else who cared to ask (just the two of them to be honest) that he was fine. But it was evident that he wasn’t, and his only friend Rhodey recognized that he needed to sleep.

About Rhodey, Tony has taken the side note that the first time they’d met the big guy had asked him angrily if he had taken him for the cleaner. As many other human-to-human interactions, Tony hasn’t got the subtext. But since then, he has started to watch carefully around and to observe his colleagues and mates interactions. He took him three days to realize that: one, Rhodey was one of the few black students in the college; two, a group of rich white guys acted like they owned the campus, even if they were for the largest part quite ignorant; three, girls were also quite a few, and generally they moved in groups and tended to stay away from groups of 3 male mates or more, especially if they were alone. Finally, he was astonished in realizing that some of the professors also treated both Rhodey and the other girls of his year like they war dumper or like they weren’t actually there.

Tony had scratched his head for a while, mumbling on the reason of their nonsense behavior. Than he did the only logical thing and asked professor Smith why he was not allowing Mrs. Callasantos to answer, since she has raised her hand for ten minutes straight. And to his sum disappointment, professor Smith turned mad at him, by shouting that that was his class and he did allow to talk whoever he retained worthy. And Maria Callasantos was also mad at him after class, because he had ashamed her. There was why she didn’t stop and help when Hammer and associates took the little guy and threw him in the garbage tank once again.

“Damn assholes!” Tony screwed.

“Are you all right, little T?” he heard Rhodey asking by stretching his arm to help him out.

“Yeah yeah fine… I just wanted to swim in the garbage, you know?”

He smiled sadly. “I’ve heard from Maria what happened” he said. “And here is another social lesson: sometimes people didn’t want to be helped by others, because they had to fight their own battles.”

That was really confusing.

“I don’t get it, Rhodey!”

“What a surprise, T!” the tall guy mocked him, but then he sat next to him and listened.

“I don’t get why some of our mates treated me, you and the girls differently… I mean, what was the common trait? I’m short and young, and way too smart than them, so I’m a natural target… but you? Or Maria, Bonita and the others? I mean, I saw you training in the gym and I get while you scared those bullies the first day we met! Still I don’t get why they treated you like… well, yes like garbage! And some professors too…”

Rhodey has looked down at him for a long while, as to verify as he was being honest in his astonishment. “It’s called racism, T” he had then said. “Racism and misogyny… but Maria is Latino, so I don’t know which comes first! Lucky for us, the world is changing fast and people like Hammer or Smith will soon be outmatched by events!”

“Oh!” Tony thought. “So it’s a prejudice… and a stereotype! Okay, fine, I can integrate them in the model…”

Rhodey laughed. “Sometimes I forgot that life for you is just a big equation!”

They laughed together while Rhodey escorted him to get change and then to launch: Tony has discovered he was particularly fond of cheeseburgers, and the woman working in the cafeteria was extremely nice with both of them. She usually gave them a large portion of fries by making them pay like a normal one.

However, during the following days the lack of sleep was evidently becoming a central issue to be solved quickly.

That was when he discovered that Rhodey has a double room but no roommate, that Tony made up his mind and went to the director with a weird request. He has taken him aback by playing the spoiled rich guy, and that made the director allowing him to have a shared bedroom with Mr. Rhodes. He hoped that Rhodey didn’t turn mad at him, which indeed he almost did. But then when Tony made clear that he was not confounding him as his butler, the big guy allowed his Little T to sleep in the extra bed he had in his room.

Tony remembered to have touched the bed and to have fallen asleep while Rhodey was still talking.

He dreamt of knights flying golden suits, and maybe there was also a monster who tried to chase him: he smelled of smoke, as always, but he couldn’t see his face well. He only knew that he woke up shaken, still escaping from the monster. And then he found himself in a weird room, who didn’t resemble at all the one he had at home or the hospital room he sometimes has awaken into. The thing that made panic rushing through his veins was the darkness around, and the breathing noise of someone else in the same room.

He started to tremble, by thinking to be still in his dream, and he tried to mumble his mother’s song to wake himself up. Instead, the song awaken the sleeping creature beside him, which turned very mad, shouted at him while turning the light on… and it was not a creature but Rhodey! His friend Rhodey who was now staring at him with a very worried look!

And Rhodey explained to him where he was and what had happened after he had fallen asleep that afternoon.

To calm him down more, during the following nights Rhodes gave him one of his big hoodie to keep him company while he slept. Tony didn’t know why, but he felt Rhodey’s scent on it and that took the majority of the nightmares away.

With his nights restored, Tony cracked the class like they were a children’s game… which in reality they were for him! Nevertheless, he had to study hard, but the part he preferred was when they were allowed to create and experiment in the labs. And while he improved his knowledge, he was also managing his social skills at a surprising speed, or so Rhodey said.

And Tony was surprised at discovering that if he said and done what he believed was right but he did and said that with enough confidence, the others started to take him more seriously. More important, that playing the ‘good boy’ was not always a winning strategy, and so he adapted his external behavior to his inner mind. Some called him “loudmouth brat” but some others were simply amused.

One of the them was professor Pym who challenged him every time he could: their arguments have grown legendary in the campus, but in the end they were both satisfied, and the professor offered everyone a coffee. Tony has discovered that he liked coffee, because he helped him focusing.

But the best moment arrived at Thanksgiving, when he was told that Jarvis would have come to take him out for lunch! Obviously, Rhodey would have come as well!

They spent a wonderful day, and Tony felt an happiness he didn’t remember to have felt in years! He was only very sad when he discovered that Jarvis has indeed been fired by his father, and that probably they weren’t going to see each other for a while. But still he has given Jarvis a present, and his old friend had something for him: Tony had almost cried when he has seen the album with his mother’s song in it, the one that helped him calm down, and most of all when he has read the words of hope that Jarvis had written for him.

For a moment, he believed to manage to be happy. And, more importantly, to deserve to be happy.

____________________________________________________

It was when he was going back home for Christmas that Tony made up his mind.

He would have spoken with his godfather Obadiah and he would have told him that he was fine now, he didn’t need more therapy sessions because now he could manage everything well.

He had top scores at MIT, he had a friend, and he worked in the labs without making anything explode. He was sure that Obie would have understood and agreed with him!

He was starting to feel more and more awkward about those private sessions with his uncle. The way he touched him made Tony felt dirty and ashamed. He has thought it was his fault, but then he wasn’t feeling the same when he was with Jarvis or with Rhodey. And they both patted or hugged him, or came into his personal space, but he didn’t feel weird or intoxicated.

And he hasn’t a monster who chase him with their scent while he was sleeping…

He thought to have his occasion when his parents went out for New Year’s Eve for a social party in Washington DC they’ve been invited by the President himself. Obadiah wasn’t going to go, so he had told his family that he and his wife wouldn’t have had any problem in spending New Year’s Eve home and in taking a look at the golden boy.

And Tony had always liked to spend time with Obie, because he treated him like an adult and not like a child, and most of all because he needed to talk with him.

Indeed they talked a lot, especially after Obadiah’s wife has gone upstairs early because she wasn’t feeling well. And Obadiah has listened to him carefully, and nodded his big bald head at the boy’s reasoning.

So Tony believed that everything was fine, especially when his uncle passed him a glass of whisky he has poured himself to celebrate the countdown of the New Year.

“You’re old enough to drink now, my boy!” he had told him with one of his large smile. “But don’t tell your father…”

They made a toast, and Tony has drunk the amber liquid by coughing a bit when it burnt down his stomach. Then he has run at the big windows of Obadiah’s living room to see the fireworks.

He felt happy and fine while he was looking at the big colored explosions in the sky: since when he was very little, he has always loved the fireworks!

But then why did he have this persistent sensation of fear in a corner of his head? Why he felt like he was trapped in a corner and all he had to do was running away to save his life?

That was nonsense! There was no danger! He was alone in his uncle’s living room watching the New Year’s fireworks…

And then he felt them: two big hands grabbed him from behind and started to pat his still small body, while a bigger man was standing behind him, trapping him against the window. He smelled of smoke like in his nightmare, but Tony knew to be awake.

He felt distress by the way those hands were touching him and he tried to free himself and to run away, but to his surprise his body was not answering him. It was like stuck there, completely at the mercy of the man who was now making his way under his clothes, calmly removing them piece after piece.

Tony managed only to opened his eyes in dread, because when he tried to talk, he couldn’t find his voice. But he desperately wanted to shout the man to stop, whoever he was.

But he knew that he was Obadiah, he couldn’t be no one else than him, his godfather, his uncle, his friend Obie who know was stripping him naked in front of a giant window on the beginning of the new year. He saw their figures reflected in the big window, a pair of child’s eyes opened in dread terror and a monstrous grin of a beast behind them.

“Do you really think you could run away from me, boy?” he heard Obadiah’s deep voice whispering in his ear, his big beard scratching his neck. Tony felt the smell of cigar that emanated from him intoxicating his lungs. “Well, now you force me to punish you once more and to make one thing very clear: you are MINE! And only I will decide when I’ll stop playing with you… and you’re about to become my favorite toy!”

He squeezed at his genitals hard with one hand, and Tony gasped out of air, while his eyes were filling with tears. That couldn’t be happening! That was one of his nightmares, for sure! The same nightmare with the monster smelling of cigar chasing him… only that this time the monster was real, and he was standing right behind him, his big hands exploring the most intimate parts of Tony’s still growing body.

He felt him raising him up like a doll, and for a moment he had a glance of his face on the lights of the fireworks. And nothing in that face resembled his uncle, a man he had loved since he was 5 and was running around the office while waiting for his father to show him the new projects in the lab. That man now has disappeared, and in his place there was a grinning monster who was about to subdue him to his will. And Tony couldn’t do anything but waiting for his moves, because his body and also his brain were both paralyzed in fear.

He was put down on the sofa with his belly down, while the man raised his legs and spread him by forming an awful angle that exposed him even more, making him crying for shame.

Tony felt then something liquid on his butt, and then the man’s fingers started to rub it and made their way down in his hole. He couldn’t do anything but to moan for pain while one finger entered him, quickly followed by a second, both going in and out him, each time stretching him painfully a bit more.

“Don’t worry, my boy, I’m not going to rush this!” he heard Obadiah’s voice saying. “This is your first time down here and I should prepare you carefully. I don’t want my toy to break right at the first ride… don’t you agree, Tony?”

But Tony couldn’t say or do anything but standing there, fully awake while more liquid was added, and after that more fingers. He was crying silently only because he couldn’t manage to speak, and inside him he hoped to just pass away, to faint or fall asleep so that he wouldn’t have felt him anymore.

Instead he was fully awake when the man putted out his fingers and said: “I think you’re wide enough not to crack now. Still I can’t open you too much or I will call off all the pleasure…”

He felt him standing and for a single moment he hoped that it was over… He couldn’t be more wrong!

Obadiah stood behind him and then he put a foot on the couch next to him, while his hands were grabbing at the boy’s hips and raising up for him to be at the right height.

“You’re still short and childish, but you’ll grow up soon!” he said, while patting his button. “Still you’ve always had a very nice ass! You can’t imagine what a torture it has been for me during these years to just spank and rub these perfect cheeks of you without coming inside… well, lucky us from tonight I wouldn’t have to refrain myself more from giving you the full therapy!”

He laughed, while with his left hand he was putting the head of his cock on the boy’s butthole.

And Tony tried desperately to squeeze, to free himself from the man solid grasp, to at least shout him to stop, that he will be good, that he loved him, he loved his uncle Obie, but he didn’t want this, not from him!

He tried to cry out loud “No, please, Obie, not this!”, but his voice didn’t find the way out and his body just refused to move.

“I want to go home…” his mind cried inside him. “Please…”

But instead he heard the man telling him: “Brace yourself, my boy!”

And then two hands were on his hips, and something big was making his way inside him. For a few seconds it was a small movement. But then all of a sudden he felt the man pushing hard inside him, while with his hands he grabbed him against his own body. If he has had his voice, Tony would have screamed with all himself, his eyes clouding for pain, while an automatic reflex made his body arched. And then he felt the man pulling out a bit, and then inside again, the pain doubling or triplicating each time he went out and then back in.

He wasn’t sure why he hasn’t fainted yet, why his mind so obstinately managed to keep him awake, to make him live all the horror in full.

He was still awake when Obadiah started to move faster inside him. Still awake when the man passed his hands on the boy’s legs and spread him more, when he raised the boy’s feet in the air, and just bumped inside him with an increasing rhythm until he reached his climax. And Tony was still fully awake when he pulled out, this time definitively, and he threw him down on the couch, without even care to lay him carefully so that his frozen body rolled over on one side.

That way he could see as the man who was not his uncle anymore, if he has ever been, calmly poured himself another glass of whisky, and then sat back on the couch.

He pat Tony’s butt with his left hand and briefly inspected his hole.

“Good, you haven’t bleed much!” he said. “You should thank me for that, obviously! But now I know you can’t talk much… at least I’ve found a way to close your slutty loud mouth! Those drugs are really efficient!”

He giggled at himself.

“You probably want to know what was going to happen next” he said. “Well, I don’t want to spoiler too much, but let just say that the night is still young… and I’ve taken my pills too! Plus, nobody is going to look for you at least for a couple of days, or maybe the whole holiday break! So, now take big breaths, Tony boy, if you can! Because as soon as I recover, we will start the second and, if we’re lucky, maybe the third round!”

He was still patting his back distractedly. Tony’s mind randomly noticed that the fireworks were over.

Then Stane turned on the television: they were still transmitting the celebration of the New Year in different places around the city. Stane zapped until he reached the channel transmitting the celebration at the presidential party in Washington DC.

“You know your old man is there somewhere, don’t you boy?” he asked him. Tony heard him laugh badly while he asked: “I’d be curious to see Howard’s pretty face if he found his boy with my cock inside him! Oh! I really wish there was a way to let that bastard knowing!”

He has raised again, and Tony knew that the second act was about to start. His mind started to cry in desperation, but again he couldn’t do nothing apart from being moved around by Stane. He made his head facing the television, and then he oiled him again in the back before penetrating him once more. Tony gasped again for pain, but still the voice didn’t come out to scream. He felt Obadiah’s hand under his neck while he was forcing his chin up to face the television.

“Say hello to daddy!” he hissed to him, while he kept banging him hard.

And Tony thought to recognize his father among the many different people who were celebrating near the President and his wife. He thought he was him and for a long irrational moment he thought he could see him as well.

And instead of giving him hope to be saved, the thought threw him in an abyss of despair. Because his father had beaten him badly when he has just kissed a boy on the lips. What would have he done if he ever discovered that he had been fucked by another man? What he could have thought of his young son, the one who was supposed to carry on the Stark surname and lead his company?

“You’re right, my boy!” Stane told him, like he was reading his mind. “Daddy can’t come to rescue you! And even if he could… do you really think he would save you after he discovered the little slutty whore you are? But don’t worry: I’ll still be here for you! I’ll take good care of you!”

And Tony cried not only for the pain, but also because he knew that it was true.

He called himself lucky when he finally passed out.

___________________________________________________

He woke up in a bed he didn’t recognize, in a room which wasn’t his own, and with a sensation of pain in his lower body. The panic, the pain and the dizziness were all symptoms that Tony would have quickly learnt to recognize since he got used to them in the days and then the years after January 1st.

But this was his first time and he felt weird and, as soon as the memories came back, deeply ashamed. He blamed himself for not having been able to move a muscle, to say no, to make clear that he didn’t want this, that he was just a boy and he wanted to go home, to see his father and his mother, to have Jarvis making him the cake… and to have his uncle back, not this monster that has hurt him badly!

He didn’t think to have tears left, but his body once again surprised him, and Tony cried in his pillow, with big sobs shaking his sore body.

Then he heard the door opening and a female voice saying: “Oh! You’re awake, Tony! Very well, I’ve brought you coffee and pastries. My husband said you like pistachio…”

Obadiah’s wife put a tray of sweets and a hot mug on the night table next to him.

For a moment, Tony felt hope running through his veins: maybe, despite the shame, he could tell her what had happened, he could ask for her help, he could at least ask her to let him call Jarvis, or to talk to his husband, to make clear that Tony didn’t want it anymore, he has never wanted it. There must have been a misunderstanding… He just wanted to go home…

And maybe she would really tell him that it was all a mistake, that it has been but a nightmare, or that he has nothing to worry because it has been all in his mind.

Instead, when he met her eyes he knew that it was all real!

He saw in her eyes the same fear and pain that were in his own.

She stared at the abused child with subdued and hopeless eyes while she told him: “Obadiah will come here soon. Try to eat something and get clean for when he comes… It’s important: be always clean for him!”

He turned and went to the door while she added: “And don’t try to resist him, Tony. For your own good: the sooner you stop fighting, the less pain you will endure… trust me, it’s not worth the effort!”

He left him alone once again.

A black hole of despair was opening in front of him, and it menaced to swallow his mind and consciousness.

But then his body ached once again and came back to the reality with very physical needs, like drinking. He was too nauseated to eat, but the coffee was hot and good and he needed to refill the liquids after all the tears he had spent.

He didn’t know if it was the coffee, or just a natural detachment caused by shock and pain, but his consciousness has just branched in two halves.

One half was his actual living self, the pitiful child who felt pain and anguish. This half has very physical needs, like the one of drinking more than the coffee, maybe to give a try on something solid to stop the moaning of his stomach, and to use the restroom. It also wanted to take a bath, a hot bath to wash away the disgusting scent he felt on his skin.

And then there was his other half, which was like as if his mind was looking at what was happening from above, like he himself what witnessing at the scene from an external point of view. He saw his sorrow body, he examined the bruises and evaluated the possible long-term consequences. He rationalized the need of drinking and the reason why the pastry or the idea of food in general nauseated him: an obvious side-effect of the drugs and the pain he felt in his stomach. He was still too small, after all.

He came to term with the fact that yesterday night his body wasn’t moving because whatever Obadiah gave him to drink must have contained some sort of drugs to prevent movement. He has studied similar drugs in chemistry class, but he didn’t know of the after-effects. Apparently they included nausea and dizziness. He couldn’t tell if panic was also a consequence of the drug or if, more realistically, it was due to the whole event.

He watched as his physical half, the one controlling his body, managed to have him stand and then move to the small bathroom inside the bedroom. He noticed that he walked awkwardly, each steps causing him a bit of pain in his back. Peeing wasn’t painful though. He filled the tub with hot water. It was again quite painful to enter it, because he needed to raise his legs and that caused again pain, but in the end he managed to dive himself in. It was a pleasant sensation, like the hot water was managing to diminishing the sore and bruises, and he also calmed his rushing heart down. His detached mind knew that it was just a physical reaction, because the hot water lowered the blood pressure and the heartbeats, but still it was pleasant.

He stayed in the water until he started to feel cold. He saw that there were bath towels in a pile nearby and used a big one to dry himself a bit. He didn’t remember to have seen his clothes, so he rolled himself in another towel and went back in the bed. 

The pain in the back has diminished a bit, so he managed to put himself sit, even if still in an awkward position. The hot bath has made him hungry, so he ate a couple of pastries. He felt them down to his stomach and then immediately up again in his mouth. He forced himself to swallow again and not to vomit, but he felt so nauseated that he had to lay down on the pillow and close his eyes.

He didn’t know how much time has passed, if he has fallen asleep again or what, but when he opened his eyes again he saw Obadiah sit next to him, with an interrogative expression on his face.

“How do you feel, boy?” he asked him. By his tone, he appeared sincerely worried.

Tony’s mind, still observing everything from a corner outside his body, started to scream at him the worst insults he could think of. But Tony’s body couldn’t react, so he just opened and closed his lips for a couple of times. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to talk again, if it wasn’t for his other half.

“Uhm, I know, boy. The first time is not easy…” Obadiah said, while he started to pat and caress him on the head, in a very tender and protective way.

Tony’s mind got confused. Has he been wrong the whole time? Has he imagined what he believed it has happened? Well, no, he was naked and in pain… But this man didn’t look like the one who has caused him pain the night before. This one looked again like his uncle Obie, the only one except from Jarvis to cuddle him when he needed to be reassured.

“Have you tried to eat a bit?” the man was asking him again.

“N-nausea…” Tony somehow managed to answer. He was like shocked by his own voice.

Obadiah had a disapproving frown on his face. “I see” he said. “I should note this as a side effect of that drug… well, I guess we should try experimenting with the quantity to find the correct dose! Or maybe we should try without drugs at all, if you behave like a good boy…”

And Tony started to tremble again, while he came to terms with the fact that it was all painfully true and real. His uncle Obie was the monster of his dreams, but this time there was no way to wake up from this nightmare! And from the way things were, he had no hopes to get out of this for a long while.

Until maybe his father…

“You know what are you thinking right now, boy!” he heard Obadiah saying. His tone was harsh and cold like a lashing. “Your beautiful mind must be already at work to think of possible solutions to free yourself from your current situation. Maybe you’re telling yourself that it was all a misunderstanding, or maybe that it was just your imagination because you drank last night. Allow me to clarify: you haven’t imagined anything, boy! And there was no misunderstanding: I’ve planned this for long, I have to say since you were around 5 and you created circuits on the carpet while I was discussing with your father about the future of our company. Because, you see, it has always been _our_ company, I’ve helped Howard creating it with equal efforts… but there was only his name on it: Stark Industries! Damn fucking arrogant!”

His tone was so aggressive that Tony instinctively retracted a bit, in fear he was going to beat him.

“Don’t get me wrong, boy!” the man followed with a calmer tone, by keeping caressing him along his body. Tony awkwardly recognized that he felt good at being touched, that he needed that kind of contact. And he listened to his uncle’s explanations while he was saying: “Honestly, I had nothing against you in the beginning. How could I? You were and still are so cute and sweet… it was Howard I wanted to make pay for his arrogance and his lack of recognition of my role in the company! But then you proved your genius mind… I don’t know if you’ve realized it yet, but you’re far more talented than your father could ever dream at being! But with the genius comes the troubles, and you had many, as you know: you can’t focus for long, you’re distracted, and you’ve started to show that terrible Stark’s flaw which is arrogance! I can imagine that everyone is slower and dumber than you, but you will understand that sometimes a creative mind expressed himself in different ways… like in managing the financial aspects of the biggest company in the US! Or do you think the money just rain from the sky because of your father’s pretty face?”

He was showing again his fury.

“It was ME all the time! I made him rich, and powerful! I provided him more contracts and contacts with the Army, but also private Agencies! I am the one who pushed him further when the dumbass wanted to leave it all and focus on the search of his old damn friend Captain America! And that was still me who insisted we keep producing weapons, not that stupid gadgets for hospitals or ecological purposes! Stupid old Howard: he is still rich because of me! And yet, he never recognized my value outside the company! Do you think when he received that fancy invitation from the President he has thought of including his old partner in? Obviously not! Because he was the head of the Stark Industries… it’s STARK not Stane, you see?”

He was panting hard. Tony was listening at him carefully: a part of his mind was trying to elaborate all the information in order to find a way through it for him to be free. But for now he was just fearing him more: he was not a ruthless monster who acted out from rage, but a cold and planning manipulator who has planned his vengeance against his father.

But what he has to do in all of this? He was only a boy!

“Probably you’re asking what you have to do in all of this” Obadiah told him, like he was reading his mind once again. Tony frowned but nodded a bit: he wished to please him, to show him that he wanted to collaborate with him, that he wasn’t his enemy. Maybe by this he would have stopped hurt him, because he realized he didn’t need to!

“Well Tony boy, your problem is that you are your father’s son” the bald man told him with a strange smirk. “You arrived quite late in your parents’ life, and everyone believed that your father was going to leave no heir. But then you popped out from nowhere. And you also showed soon that you are quite talented and genial... as I said, even more than your father would have dreamt at being! So, you see, you were a problem for me… because before your birth I was almost persuading your father to change the company’s name in “Stark/Stane Industries”. But then here you are, and your father was so proud of leaving his company (his, you see?) to his son that he laughed at my proposal… he laughed at me!”

He had to pause because he was raging again, a vein pumping on his neck as if it wanted to explode.

“So, you see, my boy: you caused troubles since before you were born!” he smiled at him a sad and mean smile that made Tony tremble once more. He saw his fear and patted his head while saying: “Hush hush, my boy! It’s not your fault, I know! You didn’t ask for any of this. You didn’t ask to be born or to be your father’s light and hope for the future of the company! You didn’t ask to be blessed by a genial mind either… but here we are! So, what are we going to do with you?”

Tony wasn’t sure he was really asking him or just being rhetorical. Still he has paused and he was looking at him in the eyes, so he forced the voice out of his throat and said: “W-what do you w-want me to do?”

He must have said the right thing, because he saw him smiling at him warmly this time, like he used to do before this nightmare. He came closer to him and Tony could feel his breath on his face while he simply replied: “Whatever I order you to, boy!”

And then he established the rules, which could be summed in one word: obey!

Tony’s mind tried to protest at the sub-rules and duties he had to fulfill.

He didn’t want to repeat last night… He just wanted to go home! And indeed he begged him to let him go home to his mother!

But the man turned mad at his “uncooperative attitude”, as he called it. He threw him on his lap and spanked him hard, forcing him down when the boy started to kick and tried to free himself. He slapped him on the face when he has finished, just like a reminder of the aforementioned rules.

Then he left him alone, but he promised to come back soon with the cane and another ride in his butt.

He locked him in the room.

And Tony could do nothing more than considering he has no escape from this nightmare. There would be no soldier, poet or king to save him from the monster this time! The song wouldn’t have helped him go home…

So between “sessions” he just cried until he fell asleep once again.

_______________________________________________________________________

Tony knew it was wrong, but he felt grateful every time he was allowed to rest, drink or have food between the different ‘sessions’ Obadiah was submitting him into.

He has stopped to call them therapy, and now he referred to as ‘training’, and Tony quickly adapted to this new name. They all followed more or less the same pattern, with some painful exception when Tony didn’t cooperate as he expected him to do.

But Tony has always been a quick learner, and this time was no exception. And Obadiah praised him for this as well as for his capacity to adapt at the changing circumstances. And Tony couldn’t refrain from feeling good and pleased because the man was proud of him.

Still every time he was left alone, he felt the need to clean himself as if he couldn’t stand to be in his own skin after the man has been inside him.

As usual, Tony was not aware of how much time has passed, but then Obie revealed him that it was already January 6th. So he has been in this room undergoing his training for almost a week.

And his results must have been great, because Obadiah had allowed him downstairs for lunch for the past two days. He had also informed him that a James Rhodes has called from college. Tony was pretty sure to have never told him about his roommate and friend Rhodey, and a part of his mind urged him not to reveal who Rhodes was: apparently Obadiah believed he was one of his professors who wanted to check on the ‘golden boy’ and his return, and Tony thought of maintaining the cover.

He was allowed to call Mr. Rhodes back, in exchange for an extra training session in which he was told of other uses of his mouth.

That made him vomit his lunch on the expensive carpet of Stane’s living room, and caused him quite a pain from the following belting session. Obadiah’s wife had to help the boy back in his room, because he barely managed to move. Also his left eye hurt because he had been slapped again. That was going to leave a bruise for a couple of days, and Tony wondered what he would have said if people noticed and asked.

As always, Obadiah had a solution.

“I hope you consider, my boy, that nobody is going to believe you if you may tell aloud what has happened here!” he told him on the next night after another quite painful session. “Everybody knows that your father is negating you his affection, and that you are desperate for his attention. So everything you’d say will be interpreting just a sick fantasy to have your father’s attention! Plus, consider the scandal you will throw your father’s name into! Do you remember how sick of you he was when he found you kissing that boy? I was hoping to be your first in everything, but then you kissed that blondie at our company… but whatever! What a scene your father has made… just imagine if he could see you now!”

He laughed hard, but he didn’t have to persuade Tony. The boy knew from that very first time in front of the television streaming the New Year’s party in Washington DC that his father would have been ashamed and pissed. He probably would throw him out of his house, take his surname off and just let him out in the wild… and Tony perfectly knew that his mind alone couldn’t help him surviving in the world! He lacked too many social skills and knowledge to be able to provide for himself, and without his father’s money and name he would have just be another slutty brat in the hands of some evil monsters.

So he considered that it was way better to stay with the monster he already knew and lived with…

He felt lucky and grateful again to Obadiah for bringing him back to MIT on 11th January, without having to deal with his father.

_________________________________________

Even if he felt broken inside, it was good to be back at college and to have to worry only for exams, experiments and the assholes that mocked him around. He recognized that something has deeply changed in him because he had become less tolerant towards the others.

Maybe it was because being a good boy hasn’t saved him, or maybe just because he felt free to finally act and tell whatever he wanted, but he became universally noted in campus like the ‘loud mouth brat’. Some of the professors complained, and he made a point in destroying them during classes. He knew that whatever they’d do to him, it couldn’t be worse than what he had already endured and was destined to endure in the future.

That he was doomed it became evident when Obadiah came to visit him at MIT.

Allegedly he was in Boston for a trading on behalf of Stark Industries, but Tony suspected that he came to keep him under control after some of his professors have lamented of his behavior. And then Obie himself confirmed this to him while he was spanking him hard with his belt.

He was also mad at him because he had discovered that he has a roommate, that same James Rhodes who Stane had believed to be one of Tony’s professor. The man was so mad at the trick, that he beat him so hard to leave once again a bruise on his face, and to cause him a concussion when the boy had hit his head on the table. Lucky for Tony, he hadn’t any major consequences, and he could come back at MIT after a couple of days in a private clinic of Stane’s knowledge.

Rhodey obviously asked the reason of his black eye as well as other visible bruises. But Tony answered as Obadiah has told him to: “I fell off, no need to worry!”.

Still his nightmares have grown terribly, and Tony managed to contain them only if he went to sleep curled into Rhodey’s hoodie: that was the only way he couldn’t feel the scent of whisky and cigar around him, like they were right behind his skin.

He took the habit of taking the hoodie on every time they were in their room, and sometimes also outside, when he went to the machines to grab something to eat for both of them. Rhodey laughed and said he was the cutest thing he has ever seen.

Tony felt fine and safe when he was with him, like he forgot what was happening outside those small moments with Rhodey. He was happy.

And Rhodey wasn’t just a big protective brother, but also a friend and a partner-in-crime.

Indeed Tony had found that on the MIT computers there was a very powerful and intricate protection, especially on professors’ personal data. So he just made the point to crack into that firewall, just for science obviously! It took him three days, but then he was finally in… probably a few months ago he would have just stopped there, or maybe reported the lack of security to the professors. But now he thought that he owed nothing to anyone… anyone but Rhodey, so he just indulged himself to look at his exam scores, since his friend appeared so concerned about it. It was by total accident that he found out also the future drafts of the exams of the following week.

He quickly looked around, but it was late and, as always, he was alone in the lab, so he printed everything and went back to his room, giggling.

It didn’t occur much time to persuade Rhodey to join in the fraud, and to divide the income fifty-fifty. Rhodes took care of the financial aspects, because Tony had realized he couldn’t manage money… like his father, he needed a Stane to manage that part of the business! The thought brushed against his mind but he quickly dropped it: Rhodey was not Obadiah, and he would never be!

The two friends also managed to but in trouble that dumbass of Mr. Hammer and associates, and this was very satisfying!

Then it comes summer, and he had to say goodbye to his friend for a couple of months.

Tony spent almost all that period at his parents’ house and at the Stark Industries lab. By Obadiah’s suggestion, his father allowed him to cooperate at various top secret projects which involved weapon design and selling. And Tony contributed in a very creative way, by doubling the income of the Stark Industries on said projects.

Or at least that was what Stane said while he was smoking his cigar and cuddling his boy’s naked body after another of their full session. He has made the habit of taking him down regularly two or three times a week, never on the same days though, so Tony was always tensed.

And in July Tony spent two weeks at Obadiah’s house, while his father and his mother were away in one of dad’s expeditions in Artic: he had begged his father to take him as well, but he firmly refused to have to bother for him during the mission. And Obadiah hasn’t liked this either…

“You are not thinking of escaping, right?” he has told him while the whip was making his butt bleeding.

After that small attempts, Obadiah took the habit to randomly summon him in his office at Stark Industries also in the middle of the day. His assistant, a very young and tall girl of Indian origin, was just too terrorized by her Boss to dare to say a word out loud. And Tony was equally terrified at the perspective of someone, most of all his father, just marching in and discover him naked bending over Obadiah’s table.

He was so scared that once he had reacted so desperately at Stane’s approach that the man had to force him down violently, and then he had to drug him heavily to keep him quiet because he was having a panic attack.

And a couple of hours later, while Tony was back at work in the lab, the boy felt his stomach twisting and he puked on his desk, the circuits he was working on and on the floor. They had to call a doctor who diagnosed him a poisoning from unknown substances.

Stance suggested that maybe the boy had inhaled something while he was working, and everyone took that explanation for good.

As always, his father wasn’t there, and, when informed, he simply asked Stane to take care of the boy.

And "uncle Obie" was more than glad to host him in his house once again for the full week.

___________________________________________________

When Tony came back at MIT at Fall, he recognized that his body was changing. He was finally growing up, and despite all the pain he felt in both body and soul, his mind was like doubling the efforts to be better than everyone else.

Sometimes he was so quick at grasping things, so quick at reading and studying volumes and technical articles that some students spread the rumor that he was high on drugs.

Indeed Tony was, but not for the reason they believed: Obadiah has given him some pills he had to take regularly, and he had made clear that if he missed them or threw them away he would have known. And maybe his friend Rhodey would have suffered some consequences…

Tony understood that even at college he wasn’t safe anymore: someone was informing his godfather of his every moves, and had the possibility of accessing his blood tests or something. That must be the same guy, maybe one of the professor or the director himself, which allowed Stane in to take him away even without his father formal consent.

That was the reason he decided to just accelerate the whole thing and burning the years one after the other. Nobody could keep his pace, professors included. Many of them overtly lamented that the boy was simply too much for them to handle. And Tony didn’t know who to trust, so he hated them all.

The only one Tony got along fine was professor Pym: he had an irritable temper, but everything he thought about was his science, and so they spent hours talking (or shouting) about possible and impossible things. Once they stayed up all night to argue on a hypothetical time travel machine, because Tony insisted that they needed to push time through persons and not the other way round, and professor Pym replied that it was too dangerous. They were both stubborn, and willingly to reverse the law of physics. They were making hypothesis about a thing they referring to as the ‘quantum realm’. Everybody thought them crazy, but Tony was super excited by the possible perspectives!

When he realized that their conversation has lasted long past midnight, professor Pym wanted to escort Tony back to his dorm. Tony was very sleepy, he noticed, but he refused: he was fine, and he knew the way. There was no need to treat him like the child he wasn’t anymore!

But Pym believed that a nearly 14 years old was maybe not a child but surely not a man, so he insisted. And to make the point clear, he may have patted him slightly on his shoulder.

And for a moment Tony, half-asleep in his chair, didn’t realize where he was and with whom. The only things his brain recorded was that he was alone at night with a bigger man. That was enough for him to cry out in panic, while he run at a safe distance from the man.

He realized he was not _him_ only after a moment, when he felt awkward that he wasn’t chasing him back and he was just standing there, as paralyzed as him. Then he recognized professor Pym, and he felt deeply ashamed.

“I- I’m sorry I….” he mumbled, awkwardly. “We’re at MIT, right… You’re professor Pym… okay… fine… I’m fine…”

Pym was astonished. “Is… is everything all right, Tony?” he asked, by calling him with his name for the first name, since he usually referred to him as “Mr. Stark” as he did with everyone else.

Tony nodded, but he was still trembling hard and kept scratching his left arm.

“I- I’m tired… may… May I go home now, sir?” he asked.

He barely noted he had said “home” instead of “room”, and that he must have sounded pitiful.

He was just grateful that the old man had allowed him to go away safe, that he run to his room, put Rhodey’s hoodie on and curled in bed mumbling his song to fall asleep. Rhodes was already sleeping hard and since he was very tired too he didn’t even wake up.

The next day everything seemed back to normal, and professor Pym never referred to that episode ever.

And Tony went on his life in college, having fun, doing mischiefs with Rhodey’s complicity, and then preparing his dissertation after only two years since he has entered MIT.

_____________________________________________________________

He was the youngest graduate ever, and his thesis on neural networks and living AI made its way on many scientific journals. But Tony was just proud that his father went to his graduation, and that his father seemed to like his friend Rhodey (Tony felt a bit jealous but only for the span of seconds).

What Tony didn’t know was that since that night professor Hank Pym has started to keep a closer look on him. And for sure he didn’t know that thanks to his wife, Pym had just read a brilliant PhD dissertation over the consequences and signs of domestic abuses on children. And Tony didn’t know that Pym has also questioned Rhodes, to check if there was something unusual in Tony’s behavior. It has been particularly interested on the whole story of nightmares and hoodies. He had preferred not to speak with everyone else, but he had taken a closer look on them. But he didn’t find nothing suspicious. He only noticed that sometimes the boy disappeared when his “uncle” Stane passed by, and only the director seemed to know where they went.

So Pym waited till the first occasion, that is after Tony’s graduation ceremony. While the boy was collecting his stuff from the dorm, Pym has taken aside his old friend Howard Stark, and told him that something was deeply wrong with Tony and that he had his list of suspects.

But once again Tony wouldn’t have known any of this for many years.

The only thing Tony was aware back then was that, after he went back from MIT, his father was spending more time around him. The majority of the time he didn’t talk to him, and he always found flaws in his projects, but Tony didn’t mind. He had noticed that his father was still drinking heavily, but he hasn’t raised a finger on him or his mother (as she told him) since that episode back when he was 12. It seemed like a lifetime ago to him and they were barely 3 years.

He was so proud and happy to spend time with him, that he also endured better those times Stane still managed to put his hands over him. He took advantage on the few occasions his father had to be away for a day and he couldn’t take Tony with him.

Tony had the feeling that something was going on because both his father and Obadiah were deadly tensed, and they barely talked to each other. And when he was alone with one of them, both men let off their frustration on him, his father verbally… his uncle in a really more physical way.

Obie had also started to blackmail him with some pictures he took after their encounters. It only showed Tony naked on a table in an anonymous place, with a strange object up in his ass and a very lustful expression on his face. Tony remembered that when that picture was taken he was deeply under drugs. And the place was Obadiah’s own secret basement, or, as he called him, the “playroom”.

Tony knew he couldn’t ask the help of anyone, and especially not of his father.

So he was particularly scared when, one day, Howard Stark has rushed into Stane’s office after Tony had been dragged there by his uncle for the second time in three days. Tony was very thankful that Obie wasn’t going to spank or fuck him again in his back, because he was still carrying bruises down there and he had difficulties in walking.

So he has kneeled under the desk without resistance, even if the old man had insisted to give him a weird green pill to avoid the thought of a bite.

And now Tony was doing what apparently he did best: pleasing him with his mouth. Through time he had invented a sort of ‘special move’ that aroused him deeply. He had been deeply punished when he had confessed he has been inspired by a porn movie he watched at MIT, and he has already tested the move with other girls and boys.

He was back under Obadiah’s desk, with his cock in his mouth when he heard the noise of the door opening with a loud slam. For a moment he kept irrationally going on, because Obadiah hasn’t told him to stop, and this wasn’t the first time someone had interrupted them in that situation, most certainly without realizing what was going on or with whom the vice-CEO was entertaining himself.

He stayed completely still, paralyzed by panic only when he heard Obadiah’s greeting aloud: “Oh hello, Howard! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He felt the old man pushing him away with his hand, while he recollected his composure, closed his pants and stood.

Tony thought that, if he saw him, his father was going to kill him! His uncle was right about him... so he didn’t dare to move from under the desk, unaware or simply forgetting that his father could see his feet, that he has recognized those feet and, most of all, those shoes, because they were of the same Italian shoe brand he bought for himself.

And then Tony saw Stane moving back a few steps, while his father turned the desk and looked down at him, an horrified and disgusted look on his face.

That was the second time in his life, after New Years’ Eve, Tony felt his thoughts frozen in his mind.

His beautiful brain was just silent and cold, and the only sensations he felt were physical ones, like the sound of the punch his father had thrown to Obadiah, the loud sound of a broken bone and blood from Obadiah’s nose when he had fallen down with a groan.

Then the voice of his father shouting: “YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY SON, YOU MONSTER!”

And then his father was grabbing him hard, hurting him while he was dragging him all the way till his own office, on the opposite side of the floor, all the looks and whispers of his employees on them.

His thoughts popped back in his mind all together right after his father has pushed him in his office and closed the door behind them.

And as soon as his mind went back, Tony realized what has just happened and all the consequences of it.

He felt doomed, dirty and ashamed like that first night on Obie’s couch, when he had thought his father could see him from the TV.

He started to shake badly, sobbing and gasping for air while he collapsed on the floor. Breathing has always been a problem for him since that New Year’s Eve.

It was over, he has failed his father, he has failed Obie, he has failed everyone: he was just like garbage, a slutty whore or a broken toy to be dismissed because he wasn’t useful anymore.

He didn’t know what he was expecting his father to say or do, while he felt him standing behind him. He didn’t move or talk for what appeared an eternity, just looking down at the failure Tony felt to be.

But then, unexpectedly, he heard him whispering: “I’m sorry, Tony…”

Both his tone and his words were so unusual that Tony lifted his eyes towards him. And there he saw his father crying, soft tears falling down his moustaches, before he collapsed on the floor in front of him and raised his hands towards him.

Tony thought he was going to beat him, and instinctively closed his eyes and raised his arms to protect himself. He heard his father mourning, and then without realizing what was happening, Tony felt himself squeezed in his arms.

He took him minutes before he dared to open his eyes to confirm that his father was really hugging him.

He could recall the last time he had hugged him like this, not for posing in front of the camera but just because he wanted to show him his love. It must have been 10 years ago now, maybe more… Still he felt like when he was a kid, and he experienced relief for the first time in a long while.

He abandoned himself into his father’s arms, his head on his shoulder and his breath slowing down until he has calmed down.

He took his father longer to calm himself, and Tony just stayed there while he patted him on the head and mumbled: “I’m sorry… please, forgive me, son… please…”

Years later Tony would have regretted not to have been able to reply him that it was fine, that he was only glad to be safe now, that he didn’t blame him for nothing.

But in that moment he was too overwhelmed by contrasting emotions, and he had drugs running into his body, so he just stayed there silently, enjoying the sensation of being loved by his father.

“May we go home now?” he remembered to have whispered, before the world around him faded away.

He didn’t know if he had slept or fainted, but when he woke up he was in his bedroom at home.

His mother was near his side and she smiled at him. She was sick since many years now, and she didn’t talk too much. Tony didn’t know what was wrong with her, but he knew that every movement caused her pain, and that she had to spend many hours in bed.

He didn’t want to worry her, so he just sit there, hand in hand with his mother until his father went in and asked her to leave them alone.

Then he closed the door and took her place in the chair next to him. He appeared wasted as if he had just argued badly with someone. His face was indeed quite reddish.

“How long?” he asked without daring to look him in the eye.

Tony didn’t know what he was referring to, even if he suspected it. But what should he do? Was it a trap? What was he supposed to say? He swallowed heavily.

“A… a while…” he murmured.

“Before college?” his father asked again.

“More or less…”

He knew he wasn’t being honest with him, but he just couldn’t talked about it. Every time his mind went there, his body reacted weirdly, by starting to tremble and hitching. He felt dirty and he didn’t dare to look at his father in the eyes.

And he was just sitting there, looking at a point in front of him, like he was making a decision. Tony would have known many years later what kind of decision he was making, the sacrifice he was ready to do… because he would have done a similar sacrifice.

“You’re going to meet him again, I’m afraid” he heard his father saying. “Publically, never in private… never like this! I promise he’ll never touch you as long as I’m alive!”

Tony nodded, unable to process the different implications.

He would have done lately in the following days, but for the moment he just kept hearing his father’s explanation: “I talked with him… We had a disagreement long before this… There are troubles, but I-… I- I can’t cut him off the company. He had something… something dangerous! He’s using it against me now! And there’s more, Tony, I… I’m sorry, son, but I need to stop him! I need to stick to the plan! Too many lives are at the stake… One day I hope you’ll understand and forgive me!”

He looked him in the eyes, Tony’s big brown eyes so similar to his mother’s ones. And Tony looked back at him and he saw sorrow and pain, and the shadow of something that he would lately call remorse.

“I’ve made many mistakes with you… but I won’t repeat this last one again!” his father said. Then he patted him slowly and caring on the head: “Try to sleep now, Tony. We will talk again tomorrow. I- I’ll tell you everything, okay?”

But the day after his father had to go away for a urgent issue in Washington DC.

And Tony did like every day: he had breakfast, put on one of his expensive fancy suit and went to work. The only difference was that he found one of father’s bodyguard escorting him and staying around him the whole day.

But Tony didn’t mind him, as well as he didn’t mind the glances and whispers of the other employees.

He also discovered that Obadiah wasn’t there either: they told him he had gone away quite in a hurry the day before and that he had taken some vacancies. 

Tony was all but glad to be left alone at work. He fixed everything he has left unfinished, and he prepared the schemes of a new missile and other stuff he knew the Army needed from Stark Industries.

It was quite late at night but he didn’t want to go home, and so he started to sketch another idea.

He was thinking on it for a while now, and although it was difficult, he believed that it would have been nice: he was just imagining a group of five or ten people flying around in a metal suit, each of them capable of disrupting a whole city on his own thanks to the power they could create from their suits. It was like a childish memory becoming true, and Tony imagined his main iron knight with the same golden and red armor he had seen on the book his father’s bought him as a present.

_____________________________________________________

The following weeks were really awkward.

His father appeared only randomly at office and he was never at home. He had spoken with Tony for no more than 5 minutes straight, and only to tell him that he was going to be out of town quite often. Like he needed that kind of reminder!

Everyone was talking on how aged and waster Mr. Stark seemed to be every time that he went back at office, but Tony didn’t noticed. He was indeed really focused on the different projects, and as a side work he was still thinking on his flying suits. He had a major issue, which was the power source. He has explored several possibilities but still he has nothing so small and capable at generating the required energy.

He has kept the habit of working quite late at night: his mother was going to be fine with their servants, and she couldn’t talked or stayed up too much, so he decided not to bother her. He usually ordered something to eat on his own and with the bodyguard, even if he was a former special military agent of the silent type. Tony didn’t like him, because he never laughed or chilled. He preferred when the guy stayed outside his lab, where he spent part of the night working. Curiously, he has never been afraid of the lab at nights.

Sometimes he fell asleep on the floor, sometimes he managed to reach one room where the personnel has put a couch for napping. He liked that room because it was very small, and he could fix the door from the inside so that no one could enter by mistake.

His nightmares were still there and scaring, so that he usually went there to sleep in the early morning, when the cleaning staff came in, and he listened at their chatting outside the door.

Until one night he was screwing at the calculations he has done on a new form of propulsion, while his nose picked up the scent of a cigar.

“Well well look who’s up long past his curfew!” he heard Obadiah’s voice before actually seeing his bald head emerging from the darkness.

“Obie…” he murmured.

“How did he enter?” a part of his mind thought. “How did he pass the bodyguard? What was his name… Rumlow!”

He felt the notorious sensation of panic running through his spine, but as always his body didn’t cooperate, and he just remained there like stunned, while the bald man moved close to him. He kept smiling while he looked down at what Tony was working on.

“Oh! It seems indeed a nice job you are doing here, my boy!” Obadiah praised him.

Tony couldn’t refrain himself for being pleased. “I-it’s but a prototype…” he minimized.

The man glanced him a warm look. “Well, it appeared quite promising, though! You have to maintain your name of golden boy, after all!”

Tony didn’t know when it happened but he was really close.

“Stay back from my boy!” they heard Howard’s voice from the darkness.

Tony saw his father coming closer. It was quite an awkward triangle they were forming, with Tony in the middle looking from one man to the other.

“Come here, son!” his father ordered. He was glad to obey, while he was glancing at Obadiah, who just stood there, with his smile still on.

“Oh Howard, what a pleasure to see you again!” he greeted. “I was thinking you weren’t going back from Washington this time. I’ve heard you had quite a though moment with the CIA…”

“There was just a misunderstanding!” his father replied, acid. “Nothing you should be concerned about!”

“Well, Howard, I don’t know what could happen to OUR company if you would end up detained…”

“It’s MY company!” Tony heard his father shouting.

The look in Stane’s was poor evil. “Careful, Howard!” he hissed. “You still owe me something… and I have friends who didn’t like debts!”

But then he opened again in a smile and waved his way out while saying: “Well, I guess it’s quite late to discuss such pitiful issues. You better put the boy to sleep, Howard! And I guess you need to do the same. You look wasted, my friend…”

Tony looked up at his father. “What was going on, dad?” he dared to ask.

But his father didn’t answer. Instead he has moved to Tony’s desk and was looking at his projects and calculations.

“When have you started this?” he asked.

“A couple of weeks ago” the boy answered. He wasn’t sure if his father was talking about the suits or the arc reactor propulsion. He believed the first since it resembled a weapon, and he went on explaining: “I’m working on it between one project and the other… still there’s something I miss. It could work theoretically but the propulsion is not enough to be effective in real world. As always, there’s a missing variable but I haven’t find it yet… but I will, I promise! It will fly! I’m sure it will!”

His father looked at him in a incomprehensible way, and asked: “Who else did you show it to?”

“No one!” Tony replied, at discomfort. He had the sensation something was going on.

“But did you leave them here, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes… where else I’m supposed to put them? That’s my desk!”

His father nodded, but then asked again: “And have you ever noticed that they weren’t where you’ve left them? Like someone has taken them and put them back again while you weren’t here? Your bodyguard maybe?”

Tony blushed and looked at his feet. “I- I don’t know, dad! I’m so messy and distracted… sometimes it has happened… Rumlow was there to check on me, after all. But maybe it has just been me putting the papers where I couldn’t remember they were! That’s why I don’t like papers… they tend to move on their own, you know?”

He looked back at his father, expecting him to be upset with him, but what he saw scared him more. Because his father seemed really old while he was looking at him with a mix of proud and sorrow, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

“Dad?” Tony asked, coming closer.

“Hush now!” his father said.

And then he did something very unusual: he took Tony’s face with both his hands and just press his forehead on his son’s one, silently, his eyes closed. Then he pressed a soft kiss on his head, like Tony didn’t remember he has never done.

“I need you to do me a favor, Tony!” he told him. “I need you to take your projects and go back to the MIT. I’ll call Professor Pym and he would take care of everything there, and will allow you the lab to finish this first big suit you’re drawn there, okay? Give all the others to Pym, and don’t show them to anyone else! Hank is a good person, and if you need, ask for his help, do you hear me?”

Tony was scared. “What’s going on, dad?”

But his father shook his head with sorrow. “I can’t tell you now, my boy! I- I made a mistake… I screwed up! I thought it was nothing but now I have to fix it. But it’s not easy… And I did wrong to you! I haven’t considered you part of the equation… I left you alone… God, I’ve been so bad at you… But you’ve always been my most important pawn! So I maybe be losing now… but still there’s something I wish to try!”

He looked around in the desert laboratory, he had dedicated all his life to build. “Promise me one thing, Tony” he told him. “In case I… well, when you would be in my place, promise you’ll do everything you could to save this company! I wanted it to be something good… my legacy… something me and my children and grandchildren were proud of…”

“I am proud of you!” Tony replied without thinking.

He was granted one of Howard Stark’s rare smile to him.

“And I am of you… very proud, Tony! I- I haven’t told you much, but I love you!”

Tony knew he must have felt good, but instead he had the dreadful feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

“Dad what…” he started to ask.

But again a voice in the darkness interrupted them by saying: “Mr. Stark, I beg your pardon. Everything’s ready. We can leave at your sign!”

Howard nodded silently. “Very well!” he said standing. He passed him a postcard. “Tony, these are two gentlemen who will carry you at MIT now. They are really good guys this time! Take your projects and everything you may need from here, and then follow them. I’m sorry you can’t say goodby to your mother… but they will keep you safe. And in case you ever need, remember one thing: the secret pawn hides under the clock!”

“A riddle?” Tony thought. What was happening?

But his father was going away while saying: “Goodbye, son. Take care of yourself… and of our company!”

And Tony just stood there, feeling a cold inside that he couldn’t name.

Then he saw two tough guys moving closer to him: they introduced themselves as Carl and Jacob, his personal bodyguards, and from a look Tony felt they were something like special agents. They said they had his luggage in the car, his red luggage with the golden stars he used since he was a kid. They urged him to hurry at collecting his things because the journey would have been quite long from there to Boston and, again, they need to run.

Tony took 5 minutes to collect everything.

He saw that the light in his father’s office was on, but before he could go back up there, Carl or Jacob were pushing him in a black car and running away.

The last thing Tony saw was the front of the Stark Industries with the big clock on the top that hasn’t stopped to move since a couple of weeks, frozen at noon or midnight of 18th July. Was it the clock his father was talking about?

Only when they were far on the road, Tony took the postcard his father has given him and studied it for a while. There was the image of a giant chess board, a place Tony knew existed somewhere in Italy because they went there on holiday one summer when he was very little. He remembered his father explaining him the rules, he remembered to have been scared by the giant pieces in the square, and to have played as one of the pawns together with many other children during a sort of festival. He has been eaten quite soon, though. On the back of the postcard he found indeed the indication “Chess square or Castel square, Marostica (Italy)”.

There was no dedication or messages but instead of it someone, maybe his father himself, has drawn a piece of chess: it was a white Bishop.


	2. Through the looking glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his parents' death, Tony Stark has fallen under Stane's care... which was exactly what his father Howard was trying to avoid! However, an unexpected fact force Stane out of town and give Tony a chance to free himself. Will his mind manage to find a way out the nightmare?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter is directly connected to the 2° one in Rhodey's story "There will come a soldier", but I will sum up here the major events]
> 
> Tony has been sent to MIT by his father. However, after only a couple of days, a huge explosions destroyed the lab where Tony was supposed to be working. The 'golden boy' and his friend Rhodes were in the sick-bay because Tony has cut himself while working. After the explosion, Tony and Rhodes were put in the panic room and were 'rescued' by the MIT director and Obadiah Stane.  
> Stane told Tony that Howard and Maria Stark were both killed in an assassination attempt. Tony had a mental breakdown and he was dragged away by Stane.  
> And this is what has happened after those events...

[An unprecise moment after the explosion at MIT]

Tony woke up one morning and he was alone.

It was not a news, because it has happened before that Master left him alone in the morning or for entire days. If he has been bad, he found himself still chained, and he would have remained like this until his Master (he wanted to be called like this recently) would eventually come back and free him, after another painfully paddling or whipping session.

If he wasn’t chained, like that day, Master usually left a note with his instructions for the day or the days he had to spend alone.

If there weren’t any notes, Tony knew he has to wait until Master called him or came back, although he was allowed to go to the toilet to clean himself. He wants him clean everytime!

Generally, Master ordered him to clean up himself, the apartment, and the sexual toys he has used on him the night before. Everything must always to be in order, and Master was almost maniac about it.

Tony was not allowed to eat without explicit consent, so he was used to spend entire days without eating. The cramps of his stomach were a noise he was used to.

There were no restrictions on drinking water, usually directly from the sink, especially because he had a set of meds to take. He found them every morning on the night bed, in the exact order he was supposed to take them before sunset.

Sometimes it was difficult to swallow, because he had bruises on his throat, but he knew he would be punish if the pills were still there when Master came back home. And he knew that Master was watching him, so he couldn’t simply throw the pills in the toilet. Once he had done this… he had a series of long white scars right above his butt to mark that event.

Apart from this, if not differently ordered, he could indulge himself in the living room but watching TV alone was strictly forbidden. That was rather a problem, since the vast majority of the time Tony didn’t have the strength to physically move out from his bed.

That morning was no exception.

He had a vague memory on what has happened the night before, or maybe it was the night before that night… he has lost the notion of time quite soon and he couldn’t tell what day or month he was living in. He also couldn’t remember a lot of where he has been before ending up there and of how much time he has spent there. Sometimes it seemed a week, sometimes months, sometimes just a couple of hours. Everything was very vague and confused.

Anyway, from what he remembered the last time he has seen Master, he had come home as usual, although Tony had noticed that he was stressed. And when Master was stressed, he turned it down on him.

That past night has been no exception!

Master has followed the usual procedure with anger and cruelty: first the belt spank and then also the whip, then the rough sex with object insertions while he had face-fucked him (swallowing was not an option, but a duty!). Then he left him on the bed moaning on his sore bottom, a huge butt plug still in.

Master went shower and then to the kitchen to pour himself another drink and to smoke his famous cigar. Generally, when he came back he was in the mood of a second round of hand-spanking and a ride directly in his back, before falling asleep. 

Tony was pretty sure that last night or whatever went the same way. And yet when he woke up, he felt still the butt plug in, and he didn’t find any notes or his pills on the night table.

He thought that maybe it was too early in the morning and Master was having his coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. Soon he would have come back to administer another spanking and, if he was in the mood, another ride in his back or in his mouth before dismissing him on the floor.

But that morning there was something out of place.

First of all he had the feeling to have been allowed a longer sleep than usual when Master was home.

Then, he didn’t remember that Master has come back for the second round. He had a vague memory of a phone ringing in the distance while Master was spanking him over his knees. And then there was Master’s voice on the phone turning quite upset… he has thrown him down and he has gone outside the room to answer the call.

He remembered his answers have been in line of “Shit! Where? I can assure you I know nothing... Yes, yes, immediately!”.

He remembered to have feared that Master was going to whip him hard once again, maybe by using the 9-tails whip on his back other than on his bottom (it has happened before, more than once!).

But then Master had rushed in the room, had got dressed quickly and run out in a hurry, by tossing the rest of cigar on the floor.

Now, when he dared to look over the bed, Tony found that the cigar was still there.

So maybe he was not dreaming… not this time, at least!

He had dreamt of Master’s disappearing more than once. He had dreamt of golden knights and pawns of a chess game, and of giant clocks ringing at midnight, and strange numbers around his head… but in the end he had discovered himself still in the same room, chained and in pain.

Still that morning he was confused: he was pretty sure to be awake, and what was happening was pretty unusual…

He didn’t know what to do to please Master when he returned, and that made him panicking! He didn’t want to be punished again, but his bottom hurt and he wanted to remove that thing inside him and then clean himself.

Could he do it? Would he be punished for doing this?

So he waited until he couldn’t hold it any longer and went to the toilet to pee. Then he managed to remove the big plug and tossed it on the floor before taking a shower (baths were only allowed when Master administered it, usually before or after a painful enema). Tony used a towel to dry himself, then came back to the bed.

He asked himself what he was supposed to do next.

The room was a mess, but he had received no instructions to clean it. And he had no pills to take… that was really weird but for now he just accepted it!

Maybe Master just gave him time for resting… it has happened before: Master has remained away for days, and sometimes he has sent someone else to bring him food. Tony believed to remember a tall Indian woman putting him on phone with Master who ordered him to eat what the woman has brought home.

So, maybe, he had to wait until Master called or the Indian woman appeared with his pills and food. Nothing to worry about… he didn’t have to think about anything else than following orders, that was what Master usually told him.

Tony wondered whether Master was preparing something special for him, like that time he left him alone for weeks, but then he went back with other 5 old men. Tony allegedly knew them but didn’t remember their names or where he has met them. They mocked him for this.

Then, he remembered that they have made turns inside him, sometimes two at a time, one front one back, for the whole night and the following morning. They took videos and surely there were flashed involved that had made his head even more dizzy.

Or maybe that was just another of the “particular days” Master wanted to celebrate even if Tony couldn’t remember about: it has happened 4 or maybe 5 times since then, and they included a full day of ‘training’. Tony hated those days… he felt lucky that Master gave him pills to forget the majority of the pain.

That time, however, he had no pills to take, so the dizziness in his head grew worst while the hours went on.

Eventually he started to feel extremely nauseated by everything: he needed his pills, he knew it. But they weren’t on the night table, and he wasn’t authorize to touch anything else, especially not to open the drawers. And even if he could have done so, he wasn’t sure to recognize them.

He wasn’t seeing straight, and everything was like spinning! And he was hearing voices and seeing things that he knew that couldn’t be there!

For instance, there was a giant machine with lighting whips, and then there was also Captain America himself, like he has just jumped out from a comic book to fight enemies. And the Captain looked towards him and asked: “How do you do, Mr. Stark?” His voice sounded old, though, and he reminded him of someone else.

Then he was a knight in a golden armor with a red cape, but the knight wasn’t riding a horse, but just flying in the sky, free and majestic. He felt free indeed but it didn’t last for long.

And there was his father smiling at him, and his mother was playing the piano but he couldn’t hear the notes… and then there were flames and the piano was burning, and their parents were burning too but they remained perfectly chill. And then there was darkness, like a wave of darkness, and everything was gone.

He felt terribly sick, and lucky for him he managed to arrive at the toilet before throwing up.

The second time that he retched he wasn’t so lucky: he vomited on the pillow, the covert and the floor. It smelled disgustingly.

Tony knew he needed something to clean it before Master went back, but that meant exiting the room and reaching the kitchen.

He was allowed to do so only if ordered and as long as he didn’t eat. Sometimes Master sent him there to take him something to drink.

This time he didn’t feel like he could. He was trembling, and he felt cold inside, even if he was sweating. He moved to the other side of the bed and curled on himself.

He needed his pills!

He started to cry.

While the time passed, these sensations only grew worst. His trembles were uncontrolled and he was cutting himself with the nails in the shoulders and in the arms. He fell from the bed but he couldn’t move.

Every single part of his skin was hitching and he kept scratching himself without results. His shoulders in particular hurt terribly but he couldn’t reach them.

He continued to hallucinate, even if he knew to be awake.

All around him was like a mug of oil, and dark tentacles went out and hit him, grabbed at his legs and arms, spread him open and just fucked him hard. He screamed, but his voice was covered by fireworks exploding loudly next to him. Then there were eyes in the dark, different eyes fixing at him, and hands of shadows emerging from the darkness to touch him, spank him, abusing him more. He heard voices whispering his name, mocking him, laughing him: they called him “golden boy”, “naughty boy”, “sucker boy”.

Then from time to time they disappeared and Tony was extremely thirsty.

He didn’t know how he did but he found himself in the shower, curled in a corner under the pouring water from above. It was a nice sensation, and the noise of the water was helping him calming down and focusing.

He realized that something was out of order, because Obadiah (that was Master’s name, now that he remembered!) has never left him alone without pills or instructions for so long.

And he was feeling so weird like he didn’t remember to have been for a while. What was going on?

“You have withdrawal symptoms” he heard a voice telling him. It seemed to come from the walls or all around him. Then he saw a boy in an expensive suit looking back at him. Another hallucination?

“Who are you?” he asked. He looked familiar.

“Don’t be an idiot!” the boy replied. “I’m you! I’m a part of you, genius! We have done this once… the first time he raped us, remember? We were 12, and there were fireworks too… real ones though!”

Tony felt confused and scared. He blinked a couple of times and the boy was gone. Still he felt this sensation inside him, like calm and rationality, while everything was pretty scattered.

From the “other” he knew that he needed to do something because that way he was just going to get sick or worse. He wanted to have the “other” take the lead, but he just came and went away as he pleased.

“Maybe I am really turning crazy!” he said aloud to himself.

He realized that his voice was weird, like he wasn’t used to talk anymore. He had a weird tune too, like low and more manly than he remembered it to be.

How old was he by the way? He couldn’t tell but something around 14 or 15… maybe…

He hasn’t ever been able to work fine with time… it meant nothing to him.

Maybe because he was crazy…

And in that moment he remembered also that a man had told him that he was crazy, that he needed to be cured. He didn’t know exactly when it has happened, but it was pretty sure he must have happened.

That man had come with Master one day and he had visited him: he had asked him weird questions, he had showed him pictures of people Tony didn’t know even if both the men were telling him he should. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say or to feel. He was scared at the possibility of being upsetting Obadiah! But he truly couldn’t remember the people in the pictures or the places, despite the man was telling him that these were his parents and his home, and the company that now he has inherited.

“Which company? What do we do?” he remembered to have asked, by speaking for the first time. That time as well he had been scared by his own voice, like it wasn’t his own.

He remembered that the other man had shaken his head and had whispered with Obadiah in private, while Tony had remained sit on the side of the bed like he had been told to.

Then Master had returned, alone, and he had praised him. Tony was very relieved, because Master had said he had been very good, and for that he would have been allowed to eat in the living room. He had let him have his favorite: pineapple pizza. Tony wasn’t sure it was his favorite, since he couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten fully, but for sure that was good! He had thanked Master for this.

They had watched TV and Tony had seen they were talking of someone that resembled him or someone he had known, like a big brother or something. He looked familiar.

The day after Obadiah had revealed him that the man he visited him was a doctor, and he believed that Tony was crazy. Master told him that they were going to take him and closed him away, they were going to do him all strange things to cure his mind, they were going to restrain him to his bed, and, eventually, to throw him in a dark cell alone forever.

Tony’s major fear had always been darkness, so he had panicked badly.

He now remembered that he had begged Obadiah not to let them take him away, to take care of him, that he was going to be good, he was going to obey. And the old man had refused at first, by saying that it was impossible, but then he had said that it should have been a possibility. But Tony had to sign some papers, to allow Master to take care of him from that moment on. That was the only thing he had to do, so he signed… or at least he hold the pen, and let Master guiding his hand.

Then they did another ‘session’, with less pain this time. Tony was also allowed to come.

In the morning he had pastries, and Obadiah told him he was very happy of him. He also told him that from now on he was his Master, and that he had to obey to the instructions he would have found on the night table every morning.

And if there were no instructions he had to remain in the bedroom or at least went to the toilet if he needed to pee or drink from the sink.

He remembered to have passed many days alone.

He remembered that the doctor has come back once more. He remembered that Master was worried about that visit and stopped giving him drugs for a while…

So, when the doctor had asked him how he was doing, Tony had answered the truth: that if he was bad the Master punished him with the whip, that he had to please and obey his Master.

The doctor had insisted that he was crazy, but Tony had replied that he was not… he didn’t know where he had found the courage to say that but for a moment he had thought that was a good idea… he had greatly regretted that!

But for a moment, a single painful moment his mind has been clear… and in that moment he had shout that Obadiah (he had said the Master’s name!) was torturing him, that he was drugging him and that he wanted to go home!

He wanted his mom, and dad… and Jarvis! He has called Jarvis's name aloud as he was right outside the door, as he could have heard him and just appeared there out of nowhere to save him!

He had tried to run away, but the doctor and Obadiah have taken him back, chained him in the bed, and they've closed the door with him screaming.

“He’s clearly mentally compromised!” he remembered to have heard their voices from behind the door. And after a while: "Thank you for your generosity..."

When Master has come back he was alone… and he was really upset!

“Why am I remembering this right now?” Tony asked himself, still curled in the shower.

It seemed a long time ago… or like yesterday. He wasn’t sure.

He felt cold. The water was cold, and the floor where he was sitting was cold too.

That was a new sensation: he felt the cold of the floor and of the water, and it was like having his tactile sense back at once.

That means also that he felt more pain, like he was aching in every inch of his body.

And he was hungry, terribly hungry! But he knew he couldn’t eat without Master’s consent… he didn’t remember why though, and that seemed a stupid rule!

Where was the Indian woman? Where was Master?

Has he gone forever and for good?

With extreme effort, Tony managed to raise, close the water and go back to bed.

He noticed that he was still wet but he just curled in the sheets once again, too wasted to do everything else.

He felt his heart bumping in his chest at a regular and comforting rhythm.

It was dark around him and outside of the small window as well, but still there was the light coming from the toilet and from the living room. Tony didn’t mind those lights, and focused on his heart beats and on his breath.

Slowly he became more conscious of the things around him, and also of the passing of time.

But it was like he was navigating in the fog, and some memories just popped out of nowhere, like single moments of a confused period that has started… when has it started?

He didn’t remember anything before being in this apartment, in this room in particular and having to obey Obadiah’s, or better Master’s rules. He felt that it must have been something before, but he couldn’t reach it yet.

He felt extremely tired and he fell asleep again.

He woke up in the middle of the day, at least by judging by the lights outside the window. He woke up because his stomach growls badly: he was terribly hungry even if he was still deeply nauseated.

He noticed he was still sweating cold and trembling a lot.

He tried to step outside the bed, but each step was like walking on a floor of lava, with dark pots instead of fire: a false moved and he would have ended up swallowed.

He didn’t know why, but instead of the toilet he exited the room and aimed at the kitchen.

For a moment he didn’t remember he wasn’t supposed to eat, and just opened the fridge and took out the first thing he saw. There was an opened bottle of milk, and Tony had always loved milk especially with strawberries, like the milkshake Jarvis prepared him… wait!

What he has just thought of? Who was Jarvis? He sounded familiar… and he always called him when he was in trouble.

Where was Jarvis now?

But then his thoughts were interrupted by his stomach, and he had to vomit again. He hasn’t realized it at first, but the milk smelled really bad and it was quite acid. His stomach twisted and he vomited in the sink in the kitchen what he had just drunk.

He couldn’t find where the milk bottle has ended, so he tried to take something else, something closed maybe.

He had to fight hard with a box that looked like a sort of cheese, but didn’t want to open.

He took a knife and tried to use it, but his fingers were trembling and he opened a long cut on his left hand: blood poured out like crazy, and Tony screamed in fear and stepped back.

He stumbled and fell down against a wall, unable to move for a while.

He didn’t know if he had passed out or something, but when he opened his eyes again it was night.

And he was not in his bed, he was in a strange place and there were noises coming from everywhere. It was quite dark, and he felt there were things in the dark which were trying to grab him. Like when his father has thrown him in that cellar...why did he do that by the way?

Were was his father now? And mum? Has she managed to stand up this morning? What has Jarvis cooked for lungh? He felt hungry...

Tony closed his eyes, hold his naked knees, and started to move rhythmically. He felt like an inner song was moving him and he mumbled the rhythm, although he couldn’t remember the words. He could hear his mother's voice singing but he couldn't remember how she sounded like...

With his eyes closed he was sure that this time he was dreaming.

He was in a giant square in a sunny and hot day. On one end of the square there was like a castle, but the most amazing thing was the strange pavements, all with white and red squares. There were strange tall creatures all around, black and white, and three of them looked like an horse, a Tower and a knight. The white knight turned to him and Tony felt he was smiling at him behind his closed helmet.

“The secret pawn hides under the clock” he said to him. “Remember Tony…”

Tony felt he recognized his voice.

But before he could tell anything he was outside a very familiar building who looked like an hangar or… a laboratory! He didn’t know why but he felt it was a laboratory. He remembered that he has seen the same building in the picture that doctor was showing him.

There was no one around, and it was all quite calm, when suddenly he felt a strong wind blowing. Instinctively he looked up and there he saw a clock, like the big one outside the factory or the railway station. He didn’t moved, fixed on the same date and hour: 7/18, 12:00.

He fixed the clock for long, but he didn’t know what he meant. He remembered that he had stopped to move, but when Tony has offered to repair it, his father had said that there were more important business to take care off. And that one night he had told him that there was a secret hiding under the clock…

Tony gasped awake out of hair: he remembered!

He was remembering something before he has been there… he has remembered his father, the night before he had sent him away… where to?

It didn’t matter now!

What it matters was that that was the last time he has seen his father… then they told him that his father was…

“Oh no! No no no no…” he murmured and started to cry on the cold floor of a kitchen he didn’t remember in the dawnlight. Or was it sunset? How long did he sleep?

“I want to go home…” he thought. “I want to go home to dad… to mum… to Jarvis…”

Jarvis! That name awoke something in him once again! He could remember his face, and that he had to call him… he had to call him before he forgot again…

But his head was spinning again in the effort of remembering.

He was now walking in a desert and he was hungry and thirsty. And then he saw a black soldier running towards him and screaming his name: Tony thought he knew the guy. He tried to shout his name but no sound came out of his mouth this time.

And then he was again in that sunny square, but he was trapped in one of the red squares. He was very young, like a child. He had puffy hands.

And there was a gigantic black statue approaching: it was threatening because he had a very long beard, and a crown on his bald head, and a cloud of smelling smog all around him. The statue was raising his scepter to smash him on the ground, like he had done with many other white pieces all around, including a pawn who resembled a woman and the knight he has seen before.

The head of the knight was on the floor next to Tony’s feet. The helmet was up so that Tony could recognize the face of the knight… the face of his father!

And the head was smiling at him and saying: “Remember, Tony, the secret pawn hides under the clock! 7181200! Call him, Tony! He will help you!”.

But then the black knight smashed him, and Tony felt he was falling in the ground, in the darkness… and in that darkness there was a clock and something was ringing and then the black king has gone away and he was alone.

It was again night, but Tony wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or if that was reality. Everything was confused, and he felt weak and dizzy. 

Still he thought he knew what the knight wanted him to do. And maybe if it was a dream, he wanted to try to escape from it, escape from the voices in the darkness whispering his name, escape from the pain he felt inside him, the knot in his stomach and in his throat, escape the sensation of not knowing what was fake and what was real.

He wanted to go home…

He heard the phone ringing. It was a distant sound but it was insisting. And then after a while it stopped.

Tony didn’t know if he has dreamt of it, like he has dreamt of knights, golden armor or Captain America, but he knew he wanted to do something. He didn’t want to simple staying there and waiting for darkness to swallow him again.

He didn’t know how he did, but he found himself in the living room.

It was like moving through flashes of consciousness: one moment he was on the floor, the other he was standing near the windows looking outside a strange but beautiful landscape, then he has fallen again on a couch, but he had something in his hand, and then he was pressing digits on the things his mind just thinking on the clock he dreamt of, and on the knight’s word… 718 1200.

And then there was silence, broken by a regular and acute note, until he heard a voice saying: “Hello?”

He gasped out of air once again.

“Hello? Is this a joke?” the adult male voice went on.

Tony knew that voice! He was sure of this!

It was so overwhelming to hear that voice that he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t remember he could speak, and just breathed on the phone, his mouth moving open and closed in a desperate effort to speak.

“I hope you consider what time of the night it is to play a prank!” the voice said again. “Well, I hope you pass a good night, whoever you are!”

And Tony panicked because he didn’t want him to hang on, he couldn’t do anything more if he lost him. He needed him, he needed to hear his voice, he needed his…

“Jarvis!” he called faintly, his voice like a whisper.

For a long moment there was only silence from the other side, and Tony thought the man has hanged on, and started to cry and sob aloud while he repeated: “Jarvis… please…”

And then out of the silence he heard the man on the other side of the phone asking with a surprise tone: “Mr. Stark?”

Tony didn’t answer, sobbing hard.

“Tony?” the voice called him once again. “Tony, is it you? Where are you, Tony?”

And Tony felt his heart beating faster while with an hoarse voice he said: “Jarvis! Jarvis, it’s me… please… please, Jarvis… help me… I- I don’t know where I am… I… please… Jarvis… I want to go home…”

He continued to repeat his litany, partially aware of the man on the other side of the phone shouting aloud “I’m here, Mr. Stark! I’m coming for you! Just stay there! Don’t hang the phone! I’m tracking you! I’m coming, Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark? Tony? TONY?!”

But Tony couldn’t hear him anymore. His mind has been swallowed by darkness once again and his body has just fallen down on the floor, his right hand still holding the phone from where Jarvis’s voice kept calling his name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to have given the idea of how mentally messed up our golden boy is... some of the inputs will recurr lately (and also in the previous stories... at least I hope you recognize them!).
> 
> The story will continue in the next story of the saga "The secret pawn", from Jarvis's POW (Jarvis the man, I mean... which means that we all know how it will end! -.-)  
> Please, leave a comment if you like XD

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you're not disappointed by this little flashback, but it was necessary to connect the various events told so far, and also to explain something about Tony's behaviors as we have seen in Pepper's story (The ballad of the red-haired girl).  
> If you haven't read the previous story of the series, "There will come a soldier" (Rhodey's POW), I suggest you to do at least for the last chapter, because the following one takes place directly after the explosion at MIT.  
> Hope you are enjoying so far, and, please, leave a comment if you'd like!


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